


We're Kings Among Runaways

by gwenweybourne



Category: Bam Margera - Fandom, HIM - Fandom, Ville Valo (Musician)
Genre: AU, Homophobia, Love Story, M/M, Prostitution, RPF, RPS - Freeform, Sexual Abuse, Vam, Violence, runaways - Freeform, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-09
Updated: 2012-10-09
Packaged: 2017-11-15 23:01:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/532732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwenweybourne/pseuds/gwenweybourne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU scenario. Age adjustment -- both Ville and Bam are the same age (18 years old). Both are teenaged runaways who left home for the same reasons, but under different circumstances. Both resort to turning tricks to make ends meet. Both end up in London, England, where they meet and band together to survive the dangerous life they have fallen into. When it seems like all is lost, they save each other. </p><p>Inspired by and narratively structured around the song "On the Bus Mall" by the Decemberists (http://youtu.be/wz-fC-iQjg8).</p><p>(Old fic I'm re-posting. See notes.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote and posted this on Livejournal in 2005. I don't write RPS fic anymore, let alone Vam-fic, but I was always pretty proud of this story, the Vam-shippers seemed to dig it, and it's the only multi-chapter AU I have ever successfully completed, so I decided to add it to my archive here.
> 
> So, yeah, this never happened. Complete work of fiction. May be difficult/triggering for people who have experienced any of the circumstances involved with life on the streets.

Ville could smell the food as soon as he opened the door. Fish and chips. He hadn’t eaten all day and his stomach announced that fact with a loud rumble. A cheerful laugh rang out.  
  
“Hey there, rumbly…I’ll assume that you want some of this?”  
  
Ville smirked, then frowned as he wrestled with the key in the lock. It got stuck every time. “Stupid goddamn…”  
  
Another laugh. “I’d help you out, buddy, but I’m all greased up here.”  
  
“I got it…” The key finally extricated itself and Ville closed the door, turning to feast his eyes on the sight before him.  
  
The room itself wasn’t much to look at. Big enough to fit a double bed, a chair, a tiny sink and a cheap, plasterboard chest of drawers with a single bare bulb providing weak, yellow light. But it was the person on the bed that interested Ville. Bam was curled up on his side, a large, grease-stained piece of newspaper containing the fish and chips was spread out over the threadbare blanket. He grinned up at Ville, licking his fingers in a way that wasn’t intentionally suggestive, but had that effect on Ville, anyway. “Hey, gorgeous. I got enough for two this week. Pull up some mattress and dig in.”  
  
Ville grinned back, slipped off his shoes and carefully lowered himself onto the bed. He picked up a piece of the battered fish and popped it in his mouth, letting out a deep, satisfied sound.  
  
Bam smiled in response and pointed a greasy finger at him. “Nobody can say that I don’t provide for you!” He laughed playfully.  
  
Ville smiled softly at him. “No one will ever say that. Especially not me.” He paused a moment. “Did you get it for free again?” For the past few Fridays, Bam had come home with fish and chips, claiming that the guy who worked at the place gave him some of the day’s leftovers for free, even though he had all the markings of a potential john.  
  
“Uh-huh,” Bam picked up a few chips and shoved them in his mouth, words muffling slightly as he chewed. “Dunno what’th up wif that, tho…” He swallowed, then went in for another piece of fish. “I don’t offer and he doesn’t ask. I think he’s chickenshit, but one day he’ll get the courage up. And that’s cool, because I kinda owe him. This has been going on for weeks.”  
  
Ville shrugged. “His loss, our gain. Oh, and speaking of being a good provider…I stopped by the off-license on the way back.”  
  
Bam’s eyes lit up. “Dude! You hooked us up?”  
  
Ville opened his coat and pulled out a bottle of whiskey from the inner pocket. “I paid the rent this morning after you left, and between what was left over and what I earned today, I was able to get this.”  
  
Bam took the bottle and grinned at Ville. “We’ll have a good night tonight.” He patted his own pocket. “I also scored us some magic medicine, if you’re interested. It’ll give us some energy for the long night ahead.”  
  
Ville shifted a little on the mattress. “About tonight…”  
  
Bam looked at him curiously. “Yeah?”  
  
“Well…I thought maybe we could stay in. Just us, you know?” Ville cast his eyes down, searching for the final few chips as an excuse to not look at Bam.  
  
A slow smile spread over Bam’s face. “Well, yeah, that would be cool. But…you know that Friday’s a big night, right?”  
  
Ville shrugged, looking up at him again. “Every night is a good night if you know how to work it right. Especially for you.”  
  
Bam laughed. “Oh, so since I’m such a great whore, we get to take the night off?”  
  
Ville smirked playfully. “Something like that.”  
  
“Okay, but just one thing,” Bam tried to look serious. “I do have to suck cock tonight at some point.”  
  
Ville looked at him for a long moment, then cracked up, shoving him playfully. “I sure hope so!”  
  
Bam leaned over and kissed Ville, softly at first, but slowly growing more intense. Ville made a soft sound and parted his lips, tasting deeply. Bam groaned softly, then pulled away, smiling. “Hey, let’s get the grease washed off and head out.”  
  
“I thought we were staying in…”  
  
Bam grinned and hooked his thumb towards the window.  
  
“Good idea,” Ville smiled, turning to wash his hands in the sink. “It’s supposed to be a beautiful night.”  
  
While Bam washed up, Ville disposed of the newspaper on the bed, then carefully pried the screen off the window. A few weeks ago they’d discovered that it was possible to climb out the window and shinny up the drainpipe a few feet onto the roof.  
  
Ville tucked the bottle of whiskey back into his coat and Bam grabbed the blanket off the bed, tossing it over his shoulder. Ville went first, sitting on the windowsill and swinging his long legs outward. He liked going up on the roof, but the getting-up-there part always scared him a little bit. One bad slip and he’d be plummeting down four storeys to the ground below. But he didn’t like to show fear in front of Bam. Bam wasn’t afraid of getting hurt and he seemed to thrive on crazy stunts and unusual risks. When he wasn’t turning tricks, he was hustling in the pool halls, playing the dumb American to win money off swaggering locals who thought they were pulling a fast one on him. He always managed to make his escape from the bar before the men fully realized they’d been swindled by a pool shark. Bam kept careful track of the pubs he visited, making sure not to return to the same one twice within a specified time period, counting on alcohol and the passage of time to erase the memory of his schemes.  
  
He could pick pockets, he could come up with tear-jerking stories to con money off of tourists. Ville simultaneously admired him and envied him. Taking a deep breath, he reached out and gripped the drainpipe, locking his arm muscles and letting his butt slip off the ledge, feeling the sharp stab of adrenaline as his feet scrabbled for purchase on the wall. Finally, he was able to clutch the pipe between his knees and ankles and pulled himself up the few feet, scrambling over the ledge.  
  
He landed in a heap on the flat roof of the building that had been their makeshift home for the past month and a half. The move into the cheap hotel had been a bold one after weeks of living on the street, huddling in doorways and occasionally crashing in a squat that was usually busted up by the police after a day or two. One night, Bam and Ville had made the mistake of getting wasted and falling asleep at the same time under an overhang of a park building. They’d awoken to a group of thugs attacking them, trying to steal their meager belongings, thrusting hands into their pockets looking for drugs and money, and even trying to wrench off their shoes. They had been outnumbered, but fought back as best as they could, escaping with their lives and their shoes, but little else. Bam had broken a guy’s nose in order to get his skateboard back. The next few days had been cold and lean, as Bam and Ville discovered that it was hard to pick up tricks with black eyes and scabbed-over wounds on their mouths. As soon as they’d scraped up enough cash, they’d found the hotel and moved in. Now making the weekly rent was top priority.  
  
Picking himself up off the ground, Ville turned to see Bam scramble over the ledge with ease. Years of skateboarding gave him a sense of agility and a fearlessness that Ville also envied. Had he been alone, he never would have attempted the risky journey onto the roof. Bam’s boldness got them into trouble sometimes, but for the most part Ville had no doubt that it was what was keeping them alive.  
  
But he knew that Bam wasn’t entirely fearless. He was human, after all. Ville had learned that when they’d reached the point of intimacy where they had shared their individual stories of how they had ended up in London. At first, Bam had been free with his words, describing a close-knit Italian family and a happy childhood. His eyes had clouded over a little as he talked of reaching adolescence and coming to realize that he was attracted to boys instead of girls. Trusting in the love of his family, he had worked up the courage to come out to them, only to be violently rejected and kicked out of the house. The last words from his father had been, “Don’t come back until you straighten yourself out. I won’t have a fucking fairy for a son.”  
  
Ville had felt a stab of pain in his heart as Bam unwound the tale of leaving West Chester and hitchhiking to New York City. There, he’d fallen into a group of street kids who skateboarded by day and turned tricks at night. He’d had a few fumbling encounters with other guys back home, but the first blowjob he ever gave was to a 60-year-old man behind a cluster of bushes in Central Park. The man had patted him on the head, muttering, “Not bad for a beginner, but next time ask for the money up front, okay?”  
  
The story had been clear up until that point. But Bam had suddenly become restless and vague, mumbling something about meeting a man who paid him well to fly a suitcase to London. It didn’t take much to figure out that Bam had been a drug mule, and that was the first time that Ville had felt fear rolling off him in waves. Bam had made it through international customs, handed over the case to a man he didn’t look in the eyes. Ville got the impression that he’d been too afraid to use the return ticket, somehow sensing that maybe he was being set up as a scapegoat. He’d disappeared into London and had been there for a few weeks before meeting Ville. At first he’d tried to get a job, but without the legal working papers, the best he could manage were cash-under-the-table jobs washing dishes and mopping floors. Once he learned more about London and where to cruise, he went back to turning tricks and pool-sharking, where he could make more in a day than one of his joe-jobs would pay in a week. Ville never asked where the money from the mysterious plane trip had gone. He knew as well as anyone that London was expensive and money disappeared fast, especially if you didn’t watch it carefully.  
  
Sometimes, in fits of insecurity, Ville would ask Bam if he ever thought about going back home. Again, Bam’s eyes would cloud over and he’d get a wistful look on his face, before reality turned it into a hard grimace. He’d shake his head and squeeze Ville’s hand affectionately. “There’s nothing there for me anymore.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ville looks back on how he ended up leaving home.

“Hey, Valo, let’s crack that bad boy open!” 

Ville looked over and saw that Bam had spread the blanket on the ground and was sitting cross-legged, looking up at him expectantly with a broad smile. Ville felt a rush of affection, and something that he was slowly coming to identify as love, though he wasn’t ready to admit it yet. He loved Bam’s smile, his clear, expressive eyes, the mop of dark curls he usually kept tamed with a woolen beanie. He loved Bam’s mouth and the way it felt on his own, on his skin, on his cock. He loved touching Bam’s soft, pale skin and holding him, fucking him, and…well, sometimes he just wanted to consume Bam and become everything he was.

Ville trusted him with everything – his safety, his money, his body, his heart. Bam trusted him just as equally. He shared everything he earned with Ville. He took care of him and was devoted to him in a way that left Ville feeling overwhelmed at times. Yet he knew he felt the same in return. It made them stick out amongst the other hustlers in London. No one paired off in the way they had. In some ways it made them strong and in others it made them terribly vulnerable.

Settling down next to Bam on the blanket, Ville plucked the bottle from his coat and broke the seal. He passed it to Bam with a smirk. “First honors go to Mr. Margera…”

Bam winked at him. “Thank you, sir.” He tipped the bottle back and took a long swig, shuddering and exhaling loudly afterwards. “Hooo! Man, that’s the stuff. Here, your turn.”

Ville accepted the bottle and took a long gulp, feeling the familiar burn at as the booze went down his throat and warmed his belly. The night would progress thus, with them working on the bottle and talking about anything and everything while staring out at the lights of London. When the air grew colder, they’d wrap their arms around one another and huddle close. They usually tried to make it back down to the room before it got too late, because Ville didn’t trust himself to make the journey down the drainpipe when he was drunk, and also because they had a kind of unwritten rule that when they had sex, it had to be in a bed – at least since a bed had become available to them. Ville supposed it was one of the few ways they could separate the sexual nature of their working hours from the sexual intimacy they wanted all for themselves. Kissing and making love in a bed.

Ville loved to kiss Bam because no one else got to. That was reserved solely for him. Being totally naked in bed with one buried inside the other was a luxury. Working hours were clothed, with them down on their knees or pressed up against a wall somewhere as whoever had money took what they wanted. 

Bam dropped his hand onto Ville’s thigh and moved closer. “I know we’ve been here for a long while now,” he said softly, staring out at the lights of the city. “But this place still kind of blows me away when I see it like this.” He chuckled. “I’m just a dumb-ass from the American suburbs…I never thought I’d get to go somewhere like this. It’s just…so big. You could fit like, three West Chesters in this or something.”

Ville leaned against Bam a little more when he moved closer. He nodded. “Helsinki is a lot smaller, too. You’d only have maybe half of the lights.”

“What’s it like there right now?” Bam’s words flowed together a little more easily now after a few drinks.

“It’s warm.” Ville smiled and allowed himself to remember for a moment. “It stays bright for a long time. Up in the north, the sun doesn’t set at all.”

“Woah…that’s fucked up.”

Ville chuckled. “I guess it would seem that way to you. It's just the way it is back home.”

Bam paused for a long moment. “Have you given any more thought to maybe calling your mom? Or like, not even calling…send a postcard or something.”

Ville gritted his teeth. “Bam…why are we talking about this again?”

“I’m sorry,” Bam said, brow furrowing. “It’s just…they probably think you’re dead, dude. That’s not cool.”

“Who’s to say your parents don’t think you’re dead, too?”

Bam flinched a little, then muttered, “As long as I’m still not ‘straightened out,’ my old man could care less whether I was alive or not.”

Ville sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that like…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s just…things are different for you than for me, y’know?” Bam rested his head on Ville’s shoulder.

Things were different. Ville sometimes wished he had a story more like Bam’s. It would better explain why he was so far from home, performing sexual acts for money and living in squalor. The fact was, his parents were pretty liberal. His mother had a broad artistic streak and his father owned a sex shop. Maybe at the right time, Ville would have come to them and told them about his sexual preference. About how he’d noticed a long time ago that the male pornographic images in his father’s shop had more of an effect on him than the female ones.

Maybe. But one day, everything had gone terribly wrong and Ville didn’t see how he could go back. His younger brother, Jesse, had walked in on Ville while he had been with another boy he’d known from school – a boy who shared the same sexual needs that he did. They’d been naked and Ville was getting his dick sucked, having promised to let his friend penetrate him afterwards – his first time. His parents had gone away for the weekend and Jesse was supposed to have been sleeping over at a friend’s house, but he’d come back to pick up a video game he’d forgotten.

Jesse was a couple of years younger and he had gone crazy, screaming at Ville. The other boy had quickly pulled off and threw on enough clothes to allow him to escape, leaving Ville alone with his livid brother. Even now, Ville tried to remember clearly what had happened next. All he could recall was Jesse telling him that he was sick and perverted…that he was going to tell their parents so they’d know how sick and perverted he was. How they’d never look at Ville the same way ever again…never want to speak to him again.

Something had snapped inside his head, and his first reaction was to just get away. Get far away, fast. Before Jesse could tell anyone. Before he had to endure any accusing glares and angry words. He let himself believe that Jesse would somehow turn his parents against him – make them believe that he was a sick pervert and needed to be sent away. The image of his parents’ shocked faces played over and over in his mind, becoming more exaggerated and grotesque by the second. Before he knew it, he had shoved a bunch of stuff in his backpack, grabbed the jar that held his savings earned from working at his dad’s store and run out of the house. He couldn’t even remember what Jesse had said to him as he left.

First, he’d gone to his friend Migé’s house. But he couldn’t tell Migé what was really wrong. He’d simply begged Migé for money and told him he’d explain later. He had no idea where he was going, but he had to get out of the city. 

He hadn’t planned on heading for London, but he’d ended up there, anyway. Almost out of money and unsure of what he was going to do to get more.

It didn’t take him long to figure out, though. London was different than Helsinki…or maybe it was just that he went to different places now, but Ville quickly discovered that his looks could be used to his advantage. At first he’d flirt to get free drinks and food, but before long he was doing more than flirting and receiving money instead of drinks and food. Men liked his slender figure and delicate features, coupled with his masculine hands and strong jaw. He represented something unattainable to both genders.

And they really wanted to fuck him, but Ville kept refusing. He was a virgin and he was scared. A few times he let himself think more of the money he’d earn if he just went through with it, but he chickened out at the last minute each time.

Everything changed not too long after that. And all because he’d decided to look at some CDs in Camden Market.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ville recalls meeting the confusing American boy with the devil's smile.

Ville snuggled Bam a little closer, half-hearing his rambling words, but more focused on the cadence of his speech as he remembered the first time they met.

It wasn’t the first time Ville had seen Bam, however. After a little while on the hustler scene, the regular players became apparent. Whenever Ville went to certain sections of Hyde Park, Hampstead Heath, or Russell Square, he inevitably saw some of the same boys working. Some were bolder than others. Ville took a more reticent approach. He’d usually walk casually over to a man, or group of men and stand off a short distance, smoking nonchalantly and casting furtive glances towards them. He could always feel it in his body when he was noticed – the trick’s eyes would burn into him hungrily. He’d wait until he’d been looked over thoroughly before raising his eyes and offering a small, suggestive smirk. That usually clinched the deal. They’d move off to a more secluded spot and money would be exchanged before Ville got down on his knees. Blow-jobs and hand-jobs only. More often than not, the trick would try to coerce him into penetration, but so far they’d accepted his refusals. He was beginning to suspect that he was gaining a reputation for this. Having a reputation was dangerous, because there was always someone out there who wanted to be the exception to the rule…and wouldn’t necessarily take no for an answer.

Ville had noticed Bam because there was nothing reticent or low-key about him. He brazenly approached potential tricks and explained what he had to offer while batting his lashes and playing up his little-boy-lost looks. Ville had taken note of his American accent and wondered what his story was. He was also intrigued by Bam’s manner of dress – skater-boy mixed with metalhead. He wondered what bands Bam liked.

What he hadn’t known at the time was that Bam had noticed him, too. And this became apparent that day in Camden Market. Ville went there sometimes, half to torture himself and half to comfort himself. Clothes he couldn’t buy, food he couldn’t eat and music he couldn’t listen to. But browsing through the wares made him feel more normal. Like a regular person out for the afternoon in London – not having to think about how much more dick he was going to have to deep-throat in order to buy a pack of fags and get something to eat – or better, a pint of forgetfulness or a couple hits of oblivion. He had to be careful with the drugs, though. Well-dressed men with fake smiles and hard eyes had approached him with offers of free drugs. Crystal meth to keep him hard and horny all night…he’d be rich in no time. Just a small cut of the profits was all they asked.

Yeah, right. He might be young, but he knew enough that pimps didn’t necessarily go strutting around with feathered fedoras and fur coats. They wore expensive suits and pretended to care about his well-being…when all they wanted was to enslave him in drug addiction until he OD’ed and died, or had his looks ravaged by the drugs and could be tossed away.

He’d shaken his head to clear his mind of such thoughts…because those thoughts usually led to thoughts of his family and wondering how they were doing. Wondering what Jesse had told them when he’d run away. Wondering if he’d ever see them again, and, if he did, if they’d ever forgive him. Instead, he’d focused on the bin of CDs in front of him. Sometimes he stole a few and sold them for a lower price to high school kids. But mainly he stole them just to hold them for awhile, read the liner notes and lyrics, try to imagine what the songs sounded like. He’d been writing songs for a while and he dreamed of somehow getting his hands on a guitar. But that would just be one more possession to make him vulnerable – another reason to become a target.

“That’s a fucking great band,” a voice echoed beside him, the tone full of awe.

Ville glanced at the CD again. Turbonegro. He glanced at the source of the voice and recognized the American hustler he’d been seeing around a lot.

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, they’re amazing. …you’ve heard of them?”

The skater boy chuckled. “Yeah, I’ve heard of them. Why wouldn’t I have? What…am I not dressed ‘metal’ enough for you? It’s the skateboard, isn’t it?” He turned slightly, revealing the board strapped to the backpack he wore. “Maybe I should start carrying a pitchfork and spearing small children.”

Ville laughed. “That won’t be necessary. I’m just kind of surprised because…well, you sound American, and they’re not that well-known in North America.”

The other boy shrugged. “I’m not in the U.S. now, though, am I?”

Ville shrugged in return. “True. Sorry.”

“No biggie, man. I know what you’re saying. The music over here is way better, I gotta say. Especially the German and Scandinavian shit. It’s like…way intense. I love it.”

Ville reluctantly put the CD back in the bin and turned to face the American boy. The boy looked back at him with a disarming smile, his blue eyes sparkling. He was dressed in a faded black T-shirt, black hoodie and baggy black jeans.

“I’ve…seen you around,” Ville said awkwardly. He extended his hand. “My name is Ville.”

The boy glanced down at Ville’s hand and chuckled softly at the perceived formality. But he grasped Ville’s hand and shook it. “I’ve seen you, too. Let’s not play any games here, dude, we both know what we do to survive. I’m Brandon, but my friends call me Bam.”

Ville felt a sudden rush of feeling at the contact. It startled and alarmed him. “Uh…so what do I call you?”

The boy let out a raucous laugh. “Call me Bam, dumb-ass.”

Ville blinked at him and Bam snorted. “Oh, c’mon, I was kidding. Where the hell are you from, anyway? You sound kinda English, but you’re not, are you?”

“Finnish,” Ville said shortly, still not quite sure how to interpret Bam’s supposed sense of humour.

“Cool, man. Good music out of Finland. Hey, do you want to get something to eat?”

Ville blinked again at the sudden change of subject. “I…I don’t have much money.”

Bam waved him off. “It’s on me, Ville. I made a big score this morning. And you look, like, one of starving kids they show on TV with the flies crawling all over them. You know…like, without the flies. Let’s get some sandwiches.” 

Before Ville could reply, Bam had turned and walked down the street. Ville paused for a long moment, then made the decision to follow.

And that’s how it had started. They’d sat in the sun together, eating submarine sandwiches that tasted like manna from heaven for Ville. They’d talked about music and shared some of the more light-hearted “horror stories” about some of the tricks they’d picked up. The real horror stories were to remain unspoken for the moment.

Ville saw Bam every day after that. And every one of those days they spent more and more time together. Pretty soon they were meeting up every night to find somewhere to sleep. That had been the best part, because Ville had hated the nights. The desperation of trying to find somewhere warm and safe to sleep and never finding enough of either. But with Bam, it was better. Getting stuck in the rain, or huddling in a draughty, unsavory squat was bearable when they could try to laugh it off together. Or sit and lay close together for warmth. Or taking turns sleeping so one could keep keep guard over the other. It had all happened quickly and felt so natural.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More reminiscing and lots of sex. Ville experiences a first.

It was in one of those squats one chilly, damp night that their relationship had hit a new level. It hadn’t taken very long for Ville and Bam to become physically affectionate with each other. It just seemed like a natural extension of their friendship – and also, maybe on a more subconscious level, a way of retaining their humanity and remembering that human contact could be pleasurable and gentle and affectionate in a way that didn’t necessarily lead to sexual release. But mainly it was because they liked each other and had begun to rely heavily on one another simply to get through each day.

They were huddled together that night, fully clothed, arms and legs entwined, wrapped in a couple of dirty blankets in the corner of the abandoned warehouse. There were a few fires burning in some metal drums, but they were more a source of light than heat. It felt like a four-alarm blaze couldn’t warm the draughty building, no matter how many people were living in it.

But Ville hadn’t minded it so much. Bam was giving off heat like a miniature furnace and he felt warm. He didn’t even mind the dirty blankets that smelled like mildew. Over the past month or so, he had learned to do with less and less. Dirty and cold was the absolute worst. Clean and warm was next to impossible. But dirty and warm…he could settle for that. 

They had been talking about how much money they’d pulled in that day and what their respective johns had been like. As usual, they tended to stick to the ones they could laugh about and shrug off the ones that were a bit more frightening. Ville had just finished telling Bam about a man who had offered him 300 pounds and a night in a fancy hotel if he could fuck Ville. Ville had turned him down, convinced that the whole thing was a bad joke.

Bam looked at him. “I’ve heard about that guy. He was totally serious, Ville. Why didn’t you go for it? A night in a nice hotel…man, that would be the best. Get all clean, order some room service.”

Ville shrugged. “Why would…I mean…I didn’t…I…”

“You’ve never done it before, have you?” Bam interrupted gently. 

His voice appeared to hold no judgment, so Ville allowed himself to nod very slightly in the affirmative.

“You really should, you know. Not just because of the money…I mean…it can be really good, y’know? It can be awesome – if the other person is careful and does it right, I mean.”

“I somehow doubt that a horny businessman on his lunch break in the Heath is going to care about ‘doing it right’ and making it good for me,” Ville said dryly.

“No,” Bam said slowly. “He wouldn’t,” After a long pause, he added, “but I would.”

Ville held his breath for a long moment, then whispered, “I don’t know, Bam…”

“I get scared for you, Ville,” Bam whispered back, his voice sounding more plaintive than Ville had ever heard it before. “It’s just…you’re so beautiful, and everyone wants you. And I worry that someday someone’s just going to take what they want from you. They’re going to hurt you and you’re not going to know what to do.”

A smile flickered over Ville’s lips. “You think I’m beautiful?”

Bam blushed faintly and conveniently ignored the question, continuing, “My first time was shit, Ville. I was high and I just wanted to get it over with so I could start making some better money, y’know? This guy banged me in an alleyway down in the Bowery. I felt like I was going to die. I…I don’t want that to happen to you.” He sighed softly. “Not for your first time, anyway. Because it can just fuck up a lot of things for you.”

“How noble of you,” Ville mumbled. But he held Bam a little closer, troubled by the thought of someone hurting Bam that way.

Bam brushed his fingers over Ville’s cheek. “Hey…that’s not the only reason, dumb-ass. And you totally know it, so don’t play dumb with me. I want to…because…fuck, Ville…you’re hot, okay? And I like you. And…” he paused again, blushing more, “damn, I want to be one that you really remember. And if I’m the first…then you’ll always remember.”

“I’ll always remember you,” Ville whispered.

A smile flickered over Bam’s mouth. “You say that now…”

“And I’ll still mean it later.” Ville tugged Bam a little closer and thought for a few moments. Bam remained quiet, nuzzling Ville’s neck gently in a way that sent pleasant shivers up his spine. He spoke again, voice even lower than a whisper. “Okay.”

Bam lifted his head away from Ville’s neck and looked at him. “Yeah? For real?”

Ville nodded. He took a deep breath. “If it’s going to be with anyone, I want it to be you.”

Bam blushed a little more and kissed Ville. Ville murmured softly and parted his lips to the kiss, feeling the warmth spread through his body. He arched up as Bam slid his hands up under his shirt, kisses becoming deeper and hungrier. He groaned, feeling his dick pressing up against his zipper as Bam nibbled at his lips and throat, fingers moving to unbuckle his belt and pop open the button on his jeans. They maneuvered carefully, sliding Ville’s jeans and underwear off under the blankets without revealing too much. It was common for people to have sex in the squat while surrounded by other people – they were both used to the muffled and furtive noises at night as people coupled for reasons of their own, from warmth, affection, oblivion or money. Nonetheless, Ville didn’t particularly want to advertise what they were doing and was grateful for Bam’s relative discretion.

“Oh, man,” Bam groaned softly in appreciation, letting his fingers fondle Ville’s erection for a few moments, causing Ville to whimper. Bam tore himself away and fumbled around inside his bag. Public health outreach workers frequently visited the parks where the hustlers worked, handing out pamphlets, condoms and lubricant in an attempt to reduce the risks to which they exposed themselves every day. Ville had repeatedly asked Bam to promise to use condoms and be as safe as possible. There was more money to be made by letting some of the tricks go bareback, and Ville knew that Bam had trouble turning that down. But, as far as he knew, Bam had kept his end of the bargain.

Bam opened his pants and slid them down his thighs, along with his underwear. Ville reached out and closed his hand around Bam’s stiff cock, causing Bam to gasp softly, “Jesus Ville…I’m already going crazy here…”

Ville smirked, releasing his hold and instead helping Bam get the condom on. Bam grinned, gently smacking his hands away after the task was done. “Hey, it’s my dick…I know what I’m doing!”

“I’m counting on that,” Ville murmured, laying back again, then wrapping his arms around Bam as he eased down between his legs a few moments later. They kissed, softly at first, then harder and more hungrily, tangling tongues and arching against one another. Bam pressed a lubricated finger against Ville’s asshole and Ville gasped softly.

“Shhh, easy,” Bam soothed, pressing his finger inside slowly. Ville gasped again and tried his best to relax. Bam slowed his motion, kissing Ville again, giving him time to adjust to the invasion before beginning to stroke slowly in and out, deeper and deeper. Ville’s breath was rapid and shallow and part of him just wished that Bam would hurry up and get it over with, so he could stop feeling so scared.

Bam was patient and gentle and didn't rush even when Ville told him it was okay. "You're not ready yet. Just breathe. Lemme touch you." And when he finally removed his fingers and pressed the tip of his cock against Ville’s opening, he paused, visibly breathing faster, and looked into Ville’s eyes.

“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered. “I…I…just…it’s okay.” He let the words he couldn’t say remain on his tongue. He pressed forward slowly and gasped before swallowing Ville’s whimper, kissing him as if he could take the pain away that way.

Ville took deep breaths and let everything else melt away as Bam sank inside of him – the hardness of the floor under his back, the sound of people around them, the smell of the musty blankets, and, to a degree, the pain of the act, and focused on Bam. Because Bam was beautiful at that moment, his breathing ragged, muscles rippling under Ville’s fingers in an attempt to hold himself back, eyes fluttering open and shut as he moved slowly. Ville shifted his hips underneath and Bam gasped in pleasure. Intrigued, Ville tried the move again, at the same time flexing now-looser muscles and Bam buried his face in Ville’s neck to muffle a cry.

“Ville…Ville…holy shit…you feel fucking incredible…oh my god…” the epithets faded into a keening whimper that stirred Ville deeply. He’d never experienced anything like this before…this intimacy and the knowledge that he was affecting another person so profoundly. Until now, sex had been either about getting off…or getting someone else off for profit. Even his first few times fooling around with Bam hadn’t been like this. He wasn’t experiencing a great deal of physical pleasure from having Bam inside him at the moment, but he realized how it could be possible. Maybe the next time…there had to be a next time…

“Ville…” Bam’s strained voice startled him out of his thoughts and he was awestruck as Bam lifted his face to stare into his eyes. Bam’s eyes were dark and unfocused, his face caught in an expression of aroused bewilderment. “Ville,” he rasped again. “I…I can’t…I’m sorry…oh shit…”

Ville let out a startled groan as Bam drove deeply into him, thrusting hard and fast three or four times before letting out a guttural cry and shuddering against him as he came. Even with a condom, Ville could feel the heat of his release and held Bam tightly, petting his back and hair as he trembled and shook, groaning softly into Ville’s shoulder.

Finally, Bam went still and Ville paused, also, unsure of what to do next. Bam eventually lifted his head, blue eyes clear once again, and filled with concern.

“Are you okay? Shit, I’m so sorry…I couldn’t hold back anymore…did…” he bit his lip nervously. “Was it okay? Did you feel anything from that at all?”

Ville nodded, stunned for a moment. “I felt…everything…” he whispered.

Bam managed a loopy smile. “I wanted it to be perfect, I guess…but I never thought…I never expected that…uh…” he swallowed, “I’ve never…done it before with someone I really…liked. A lot. Y’know?”

Ville nodded again, slowly. “Yes,” he replied. “I think I know now…”

Bam reached down to hold the base of the condom and pulled out very slowly, before resting his head on Ville’s chest. “It’s different,” he murmured. “It changes everything…I didn’t believe it could…” he trailed off, embarrassed.

Ville opened his mouth to respond, but only a groan slipped out, because Bam had slithered down the length of his body under the blanket and taken Ville’s cock into his mouth. The words melted on Ville’s tongue, and he closed his eyes as Bam leveled the playing field.

* * *

Ville relived the entire experience again on the roof. Bam tugged gently at his sleeve.

“You’re totally off in your own world tonight. Tired? Wanna sleep now?

Ville looked at him, touched by the gentle concern on his face. He sometimes got scared because having someone care about you, and coming to rely on someone caring about you was dangerous. Because it could be taken away. But, as usual, he pushed those thoughts away.

“Sleep…or something like that,” he said with a smirk.

Bam raised his eyebrows and grinned. “I like the sound of that ‘something.’”

Later, as they arched against each other in the bed, enjoying the rare and delicious feel of naked skin on skin, with Bam crying out his name and Ville falling apart underneath him, he realized that he liked the feel of that ‘something,’ too.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talk about being neighborly.... This life is starting to wear the boys down.

Ville slipped out of bed and grabbed a threadbare towel off the chair, wrapping it around his slender waist, in preparation to visit the small bathroom in the hall they shared with several other "guests." “I’m going to take a quick shower.”

Bam stretched in bed, slipping an arm behind his head and regarding him with lazy, sated eyes and the smile that could get Ville hard and ready to go again in minutes sometimes.

“You don’t want me to join you?”

Ville grinned. “Tempting, but I really do need to shave a little and wash. You know nothing of that sort ever gets accomplished when we’re in there together.”

“Party pooper,” Bam mock-huffed and turned onto his side, giving Ville an eyeful of his back and ass. 

Ville padded over to the side of the bed and pressed a kiss at the base of Bam’s spine, causing the boy to shiver pleasurably. “I’ll be back before you can even think of getting it up again,” he said with a smirk.

“Fuckhead.” Only Bam could make a word like “fuckhead” sound incredibly affectionate.

Picking up a small plastic bag with assorted sundries they’d collected and shoplifted, such as shampoo, soap and a razor, Ville slipped out the door of their room and locked the door behind him so Bam wouldn’t have to, then slipped loop of string with the keys around his neck. He would wear them while in the shower…no one in this building was to be trusted.

Moments later, Ville heard a door open and he stifled an audible sigh. It had to be Frank.

“You two pretty-boys trying to wake up the whole bloody building this morning?”

Oh, it was definitely Frank.

Frank Howland was their “next-door neighbor,” so to speak. Due to the paper-thin walls in the hotel, Frank was well-acquainted with Ville and Bam’s activities, and they with his. Ville couldn’t be sure who was worse, to tell the truth.

He turned to face Frank, who was leaning against the doorframe, leering visibly at Ville’s towel-clad form. He was wearing only a pair of worn pajama bottoms, which was unfortunate, since Frank’s middle-aged paunch hung over the waistband. Ville shrugged innocently. “Just waking up the way we like to, Frank.”

“The way most people like to, I reckon,” Frank’s tone was casual, and as if from nowhere, his hand came up, holding what appeared to be a rolled-up bank note or two. Ville looked at him for a long moment, and sighed audibly this time.

“All right.” He shuffled down the hall towards the older man.

“I know that I’m not your favorite person in the world, you little slut,” Frank sneered. “But don’t you get paid the big bucks to feign a little enthusiasm?”

Ville stepped inside Frank’s room and turned to face him. “I get paid ‘the big bucks,’ because I’m good, and you damn well know that.”

Frank smirked. “Y’know, you got balls for a poof.” He reached out and plucked away Ville’s towel with one hand, closing the door with the other. “Down you go.”

Ville opened up his hand. Frank grumbled and shoved the bank notes into his palm. Ville counted them quickly, then slowly lowered himself to his knees, letting his mind drift away and body turn to autopilot as Frank tugged down his pajama pants and roughly grabbed two handfuls of Ville’s hair, guiding his head to where he’d paid for it to go.

* * *

  
Ville returned to the room after his shower and found Bam fast asleep once again. He set down his things, slipped off the towel and the keys and stepped closer, leaning down to brush a kiss over his lover’s neck. Bam stirred, making a sleepy, happy sound.

“Mmmf…thought maybe you’d drownded in there or somethin’,” he snuffled, rolling over onto his back.

Ville smiled at the childish verb and sat on the edge of the bed. “C’mon, it’s time to get up. I want to buy you breakfast.”

Bam yawned and sat up slowly, “Breakfast? With what, exactly?”

Ville held up the folded bank notes and Bam regarded them with confusion. The confusion melted into a brief shadow crossing over his face, then was quickly replaced by a wry half-smile.

“Frank.”

Ville nodded. “Frank.” He paused. “Is that okay…?”

Bam leaned forward to rest his head on Ville’s shoulder. “Yeah, sure it’s okay. You say that he comes in like, two minutes, anyway. And money’s money, man. It’s just that…I dunno, it’s weird, because when we’re here – at home, however crappy it is – it’s kind of like a separation from ‘out there.’” Bam gestured at the window, indicating the rest of the city.

“Collision of worlds.”

“Yeah, I guess so. And the fact that we know his name. It’s just…different somehow.”

Ville stroked Bam’s hair gently. “I won’t go over there again if you don’t want me to.”

Bam kissed Ville’s shoulder, then swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. “Nah. If Frank wants to pay for my breakfast, I can hardly turn it down.” He picked up the towel Ville had discarded and collected the rest of the shower things.

“At least he got me before I brushed my teeth?” Ville tried for a joke.

Bam managed a wan smile. “He’s a prince of a guy, that Frank.”

* * *

  
As Ville got dressed and ready for the day, Bam quietly knocked on Frank’s door. The older man answered, regarding Bam with narrowed eyes and a cigarette hanging out of his smirking mouth.

“You aren’t getting any more money out of me today, Yank. I’m tapped out.”

Bam returned the smirk. “You won’t be getting it up for at least another day, old man.”

Frank spat on the ground, just missing Bam’s feet. “Don’t you have some cock to bend over for somewhere?”

“Just remember one thing,” Bam said in a quiet, almost deadly tone. “You might be getting it, but you will always have to pay for it. Fuckers like you will never, ever get something that beautiful and perfect for free.”

Frank looked unimpressed. “He’s not that good, you know.”

Bam laughed humorlessly. “Liar. He’s the best you’ve ever had and ever will have.”

Frank’s lips tightened around his cigarette. Bam turned and left, calling over his shoulder, “He’s mine, old man. And I get it for free. That’s only one of the many differences between you and me. Oh yeah, and thanks for breakfast. I can taste it already.”

“Fuck off!” Frank sneered and slammed the door, but Bam had already disappeared into the bathroom.

* * *

  
Meanwhile, back in the other room, Ville clapped a hand over his mouth to contain a shocked laugh upon overhearing Bam’s vitriolic words. Then he looked down at the money in his hand and suddenly didn’t feel like laughing anymore.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything goes to hell in a handbasket. Ville gets in over his head and Bam breaks down.

Ville quickly checked the cheap watch he kept hidden in his pocket. After breakfast, he and Bam had parted ways, but were due to meet up again in less than half an hour. “Business,” as it was, had been a little slow, but Ville suspected it was partially due to his poor attention span. He was having trouble focusing on potential tricks. All he really wanted to do was lie in bed with Bam. It wasn’t the first time Ville had gone to Frank’s room, and he couldn’t quite understand why it seemed to trouble Bam so much more than usual. But then again, Bam hadn’t quite been himself lately. His usually easy smile and carefree humor seemed a little strained. It worried Ville, but he didn’t have the slightest idea what to do about it.  
  
He wandered aimlessly around the park, lost in his own thoughts. He was just about to light up a cigarette, when his peripheral vision kicked in enough for him to sense someone standing nearby. A hardened-looking man in his early thirties met Ville’s gaze and nodded curtly. Ville nodded back silently, falling into the unspoken codes of the park and took a few steps back behind the bushes. The man followed close behind.  
  
“How much?” his voice was rough.  
  
Ville shrugged in what he hoped appeared to be jaded nonchalance. “Depends. What do you want?”  
  
“I want to fuck.”  
  
Another shrug. “Fifty quid.”  
  
“No fucking way.”  
  
Ville paused. Normally he didn’t negotiate, but he’d had a really slow morning and rent was due soon. He couldn’t let Bam down by not being able to cover his share and getting them both evicted.  
  
“Forty.”  
  
“Too high.”  
  
“I’m good.”  
  
“You better be.”  
  
Ville shrugged once more and held out his hand to accept the trick’s money. He was already bored and just wanted to get this over with so he could meet up with Bam and maybe try to figure out what was going on in his head. He’d already turned around and tugged his pants down over his ass and was about to brace his hands against a tree when he realized, in his distraction, that he’d forgotten an important question. He could hear the sound of a zipper being lowered and felt a hand anchor onto his hip.  
  
“Do you have a condom?” he asked quietly.  
  
The man’s voice was curt. “No.”  
  
Ville grimaced. He hated it when he had to dip into his own stash. He dug into the pocket of his sweatshirt, pulled out the square packet and held it up. “Here.”  
  
The man plucked the condom from Ville’s outstretched fingers, and, to his astonishment, tossed it away into the bushes.  
  
“The fuck…” Ville sputtered.  
  
“Not interested,” the man said in the same curt tone.  
  
“Then I’m not interested at all,” Ville said in what he hoped sounded like an even more determined voice, feeling his heartbeat quickening as he went to move away. He gasped sharply as the man shoved him hard up against the tree, closing a hand around the back of Ville’s neck and painfully scraping his cheek against the bark in the process.  
  
“You’ll be interested in whatever I’ve paid you to be interested in,” the man growled quietly. Ville felt the trick’s erection pressing against his bare ass and swallowed hard.  
  
“All right, all right,” he said softly, ceasing his attempts to struggle.  
  
“That’s better,” murmured the man. He relaxed his grip on Ville’s neck and used his other hand to spread Ville’s buttocks apart. Ville took a deep breath, then clenched his fist and drove his elbow back into the man’s ribs. The trick’s breath whooshed out of his lungs and he groaned, stumbling back. Ville fumbled with his pants, trying to get them back up and make his escape, but he saw a flash of metal and instinct stopped him dead in his tracks.  
  
The man was still slouched in pain, but had managed to pull a switchblade out of his pocket. The blade was fully extended and within jabbing distance of Ville’s stomach.  
  
“You little whore,” the man hissed, straightening up slowly. “I’ll teach you a lesson you’ll never forget…”  
  
Ville was frozen with panic, and everything else in the next few moments seemed to freeze, as well. He barely understood the strange clattering noise on the sidewalk a few feet away, the animal-like bellow and flash of black as Bam crashed through the bushes and launched himself onto the man’s back. Ville finally registered what was happening when the knife flew out of the man’s hand and landed a few feet away. Bam was plastered over the trick’s back, one strong arm looped around his throat in a headlock. He looked up at Ville, eyes wild with something dangerous Ville had only seen once before – the mugging in the park.  
  
“Don’t just stand there, Ville! Help me!” Bam implored, his grip loosening as the enraged man flailed and clawed at him.  
  
Ville drew his foot back and kicked the doubled-over man in the stomach. He groaned and dropped to the ground. Bam rolled off his back and landed a few kicks to the man’s ribs, eliciting more groans.  
  
“Fuckin’ piece of shit!” Bam spat as each kick made contact. “Fucking asshole…you…FUCK!”  
  
“Bam,” Ville pleaded. “Let’s get out of here.” Bam was drawing too much attention to them. He could hear people talking, people getting closer. It was the middle of the day and there were cops around – and while they most often turned a blind eye to the hustlers, assault in broad daylight would not be overlooked.  
  
Bam turned and looked at Ville. “Are you okay, Ville?”  
  
“We have to get out here now, Bam!” Ville yanked hard on his sleeve.   
  
Bam nodded, slowly emerging from the adrenaline-driven frenzy. “My board…I have to get my board…” he angled his chin to the sidewalk just beyond the bushes.  
  
“There’s no time…we’ll come back for it. Bam, c’mon!” Ville felt the cold fist of panic clench around his heart.  
  
Bam made a distressed sound, bouncing on the soles of his feet and gazing over to where his precious possession lay…the last vestige of a life left behind – a home that no longer belonged to him.  
  
“Bam, we can’t get arrested,” Ville babbled quickly. “Do you understand me? They’re coming! We can’t get arrested…they’ll separate us…they’ll send us away. You’re here illegally and they might deport you…Bam, PLEASE!”  
  
Bam’s head whipped around upon hearing the words “separate” and “deported.” His eyes burned into Ville’s as understanding dawned. “Fuck,” he whispered.  
  
Ville grabbed his hand. “Run!”  
  
They left the groaning man behind and ran as fast as they could, ignoring the voices calling behind them. They kept to the edges of the park, running until their lungs burned and their knees threatened to give out. Finally, they took cover in another grove of trees on the other side of the huge park and collapsed against one another, listening fearfully for sounds of pursuit.  
  
They heard nothing except the heaving of their own breath.  
  
“I…I…I think…we’re…safe…” Ville wheezed.  
  
Bam looked at him. “Ville…use your inhaler.”  
  
“I’m…fine…”  
  
“Don’t fuck around, Ville. Use it!” Bam said sharply. Ville’s asthma was one of the first secrets he’d shared with Bam. Being on the street and having a known weakness like a respiratory condition was dangerous. Not to mention the fact that Ville had left home with his only inhaler and had been terrified about what would happen when it ran out.  
  
And one day it did run out, but Bam had told him he’d take care of it.   
  
“Bam…you can’t shoplift a fucking inhaler!” Ville had said, exasperated.  
  
“I said I’d take care of it! Christ, you’re an ungrateful fucker.” Bam had grinned at him.  
  
And sure enough, he’d come through. One of his drug connections who had connections at a pharmacy. Ville had been afraid to use the new inhaler, wondering if it just wouldn’t kill him faster, but when the next attack had come on, he’d had no choice. Thankfully, it had worked, but even so, he didn’t know if Bam would be able to come through again, so he used it as sparingly as possible.   
  
Bam was shaking and his eyes were still wild-looking, so Ville grudgingly gave in and took two hauls off the inhaler in rapid succession.  
  
“I could have killed him, you know,” Bam said a few minutes later, his voice barely a whisper.  
  
“But you didn’t.”  
  
“I could have, though. I heard everything that happened before that. I was skating down to meet you. I stopped and I could hear you talking to him. And I heard him giving you shit,” Bam stared at his dirty fingernails as he spoke. His voice sounded almost mechanical. “I didn’t want to make things worse, so I hung back to see if you could just intimidate him off. I mean…most of those asswipes are scared of their own shadow. But I heard you hit him and I heard the blade come out…man…I swear I heard it. I dunno. I just went nuts. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing…I just barreled in there and hoped to hell that I wouldn’t accidentally fling myself on the blade.”  
  
“Thank you,” Ville whispered.  
  
Bam nodded. “Do you think it’s safe to go back yet?”  
  
“I…I don’t know. Let’s wait a few more minutes.”  
  
“Okay.” Bam drew his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them. Ville felt a little hurt, but mostly confused and worried. He wondered if Bam was in a kind of shock or something. He wondered if he was in shock, for that matter. Everything had happened so fast, it didn’t seem real yet. He lit up a cigarette with shaky fingers and smoked it down to the filter while they waited in silence.  
  


* * *

It was a long, tense wait, but Ville insisted that they wait an hour before venturing back. Bam hadn’t argued with him, but Ville could sense that something was terribly wrong. He hadn’t known what to say or do as Bam had fidgeted, tearing strips of dead skin off his fingers and gnawing on his fingernails. After his earlier outburst, he seemed completely unwilling to talk about what had just happened.  
  
As soon as they emerged from the copse of trees, Bam broke into a swift jog and Ville tried his best to keep up, but his chest still hurt from the run earlier, and he quickly fell behind.  
  
When he finally reached the place where he and Bam had fled from, his heart sank at the sight of Bam standing motionless, staring at empty spot on the ground where he’d abandoned his skateboard in order to rescue Ville.  
  
“It’s gone,” he whispered.  
  
Ville cast his eyes about and began to search in the bushes, calling over his shoulder, “Maybe it just got kicked away. Otherwise, we’ll find it, Bam…I promise. I bet we know who took it. Everyone knew how much you loved that board. We’ll track them down.” He knew he was babbling, and he knew that the board was long gone, but he couldn’t face Bam…he couldn’t face the responsibility of being the one who had caused Bam to lose his most treasured possession.  
  
A sudden noise startled Ville. It sounded like a whimper…like the sound of a puppy being kicked. Followed by a strangled sob. He forced himself to look over at Bam and nearly fell to his knees at the sight of Bam’s face crumpling into despair. Bam sank down onto the grass and fruitlessly buried his face in his hands as he began to weep brokenly.  
  
“Oh, no,” whispered Ville, scrambling over to Bam’s side. “No, no, no, no, Bam…no…please…don’t cry. It’s okay…I’ll get you a new board, I promise. I’m so sorry…I know it’s not the same, but I’ll get you one. A really nice one, I swear…”  
  
Bam lifted his head and looked at Ville. His features were distorted by pain, and then by a look of incredulity. He shook his head. “God, Ville…it’s not just the skateboard. It’s…this! It’s everything!” He flung his arms open in emphasis, tears still streaming down his cheeks. “It’s this  _life!_ ”  
  
Ville stared at him, frozen.  
  
“You…you almost died!” sobbed Bam. “That guy could have killed you. He was going to KILL you, Ville! And no one in this shitty fucking town would have cared…except me! You wanna know why?”  
  
“Bam, please don’t,” Ville whispered.  
  
“Because we’re whores!” Bam yelled. “We’re fucking street trash! What kind of fucking life is this? This isn’t the life I’m supposed to be living. And it sure as hell isn’t the life  _you’re_  supposed to be living! You should be home with your parents and writing down all those songs you talk about and sing to yourself all the time. You think I can’t hear them, but I can!”  
  
Ville blinked back tears.  
  
“As for me...” Bam wiped at his face with his sleeve. “I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to be doing, but I know it isn’t this. This is not how things are supposed to be.” He looked at Ville with swollen, puffy eyes and whispered, “What the fuck are we gonna do, Ville?”  
  
Ville looked back at Bam and found himself at a loss for words. Every single doubt, fear and question he’d been shoving to the back of his mind since the day he left home had just been articulated by Bam. He was disappointed in himself to realize it had never occurred to him that Bam was scared, too. That Bam didn’t have all the answers. Because he usually did. When they were cold or hungry or tired, Bam had some crazy, half-assed plan to fix things. Plans that usually worked in spite of sometimes staggering odds.  
  
But Bam didn’t have the answer for this. And Ville knew that it was his turn to make a plan. And he suddenly knew exactly what needed to be done.  
  
Tenderly, he touched Bam’s wet cheek and whispered. “I’ll take care of it, Bam.”  
  
Bam furrowed his brow. “B-b-b-but…”  
  
“Shhh, I said I’ll take care of it. Christ, you’re an ungrateful fucker,” Ville quoted to Bam with a slight smile.  
  
Bam looked dubious, but he smiled back weakly and let Ville help him to his feet. He leaned in against Ville’s warmth as the taller boy slipped an arm around his shoulders and together they walked back to their room.  
  


* * *

Ville tipped his head back and squinted up at the moon that was visible through the hazy night sky of the city. The air was chilly and he shivered, zipping up his hoodie the rest of the way.  
  
Back in the room, he had slowly taken Bam’s clothes off and then his own. They’d made love very slowly and gently. Ville had touched and kissed every inch of skin he could reach, whispering reassuring words as Bam clung to him and moaned softly with each slow thrust of Ville’s hips. Ville had been considerate, holding himself back until Bam climaxed first, then let the clenching muscles around his own dick carry him over the edge just afterwards. He’d carefully slipped out and spooned Bam from behind until he fell asleep mere minutes later.  
  
And that’s where Ville wished he still was right now – warm and naked and asleep with Bam. But instead he had slipped quietly out of bed and put his clothes back on. He’d tiptoed from the room and exited the hotel and walked a block down the street.  
  
He was standing in front of a pay phone, staring hard at it.   
  
He was also considering just walking away and going back to bed. But the image of Bam’s breakdown that afternoon kept him from moving away. Taking a deep breath, he lifted the receiver and dialed for the operator.  
  
Moments later, he considered crawling out of his skin as the he listened to the dial tone as the phone rang on the other end. And then a voice was in his ear…so warm and familiar that he wanted to crawl inside it and fall asleep for a thousand years.  
  
“Hei äiti…”* he whispered, and then burst into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Rough translation: "Hi, Mom."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to leave an old life behind.

When Ville finally returned to the room, Bam was already awake and dressed. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the door when Ville entered.  
  
“I thought maybe you’d decided to split for good,” he said dully.  
  
Ville paused in the doorway, then shut the door behind him. “Why the hell would you say such a thing, let alone think it, Bam?”  
  
Bam shrugged and gnawed absently on a dirty fingernail. “I totally lost it yesterday. Crying and sniveling all over the place like a little fucking girl. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d decided to take off.”  
  
Sitting down next to Bam, Ville stroked a hand over his back. “I had something I needed to do. For both of us.” He then reached into his pocket and laid something on the bed between them.  
  
Bam glanced down quizzically, then looked back up again at Ville, his voice unsteady. “Those look like plane tickets.”  
  
“They are.”  
  
“Where are you going?”  
  
“You mean where are  _we_  going…”  
  
Bam swallowed. “You…we…whatever. What’s going on, Ville?”  
  
“You were right yesterday, you know. We can’t keep living like this.”  
  
“I was just pissed off about the board,” Bam mumbled, shoving a hand through his hair.  
  
“No,” said Ville, softly, edging closer to Bam and slipping an arm around his shoulders. “It wasn’t just that, and you know it. We have to do something. I’m sick of sharing you. I want you all to myself.”  
  
Bam smiled faintly, but stiffened slightly when Ville said, “Bam…I called my mother early this morning.”  
  
“How…” Bam cleared his throat and tried again. “How did it go?”  
  
“Okay. She cried a lot.” Ville paused. “So did I. I told her I wanted to come home.”  
  
Bam nodded.  
  
“I also told her that I had one condition — I wanted you to come with me,” Ville finished. “You…you saved my life, Bam. Not just yesterday, but all kinds of times before that. I wouldn’t have lasted this long on the streets if it hadn’t been for you. And…” Ville paused again, then mumbled, “I think I’m in love with you.”  
  
Bam blinked. He turned to Ville and slid a hand around the back of his neck, drawing Ville closer and kissing him. “I love you, too,” he murmured audibly against Ville’s lips. “I mean…if love is what makes me go crazy at the though of not being around you, then yeah, I’m definitely in love.”  
  
Ville grinned, then moaned softly as Bam kissed him again, harder and hungrily this time. He parted his lips as Bam stroked his tongue into his mouth. They sank down to lie on the bed without breaking the kiss, devouring each other’s mouths. Bam slid on arm under Ville’s neck, nibbling at his lips and playing with his tongue, his other hand sliding down between Ville’s legs, stroking him through his jeans until he was hard and aching, panting and pushing up into Bam’s touch.  
  
“Jesus, you’re hot,” Bam groaned into Ville’s ear. “I’m gonna fuck your brains out now, if you’re all right with that…”  
  
Ville grinned, and sighed in relief as Bam popped open the button on his jeans and lowered the zipper. “I’m more than all right with that…”  
  
Bam slipped off his shirt and worked on pulling off Ville’s socks and shoes, as Ville struggled out of his hoodie and T-shirt. “Besides,” Bam breathed, lowering his head to kiss Ville’s bare stomach. “If this is our last day here, we better give Frank something to fuckin’ remember us by…”  
  
Ville grinned again. “I like your thinking.” He lifted his hips as Bam tugged down his jeans and boxers and tossed them aside. Bam quickly shucked his own pants and fumbled in the small drawer of the bedside table for condoms and lube. He expertly rolled it on and used the lube to slick up his cock and his fingers.  
  
“I don’t want to share you anymore, either,” Bam whispered, watching Ville’s eyes as he slowly pushed a lubricated finger inside him. “I’ve never really wanted to. You’re beautiful and you’re fucking cool and I’d fuck you all day, every day, if it was physically possible.”  
  
Ville giggled softly. “We can hope for miracles…”  
  
Bam kissed and nibbled at Ville’s neck, shoulder, collarbone and nipples, fucking him slowly with his fingers until Ville was panting and quietly pleading for more.  
  
“I can’t hear you,” Bam teased, pressing the pad of his finger deep, over Ville’s prostate, causing the other boy to cry out raggedly. “So Frank can hear, too…we can’t forget Frank, Ville.”  
  
“Oh fuck…” Ville groaned. “Bam…please… fuck me!”  
  
“Now?”  
  
“Yes, goddammit! Now!”  
  
Bam grinned. “I’m being a jerk, aren’t I?” He angled between Ville’s legs, biting back a moan as the tip of his cock pressed against Ville’s asshole.  
  
“Yes,” Ville agreed firmly, though his eyes sparkled playfully. “But I love you, anyway.”  
  
“I love you, too,” Bam said seriously, and leaned over to seal his mouth with Ville’s as he slowly sank inside.  
  
The sex was sweaty and hungry and intense and loud as Bam and Ville laid claim to one another in preparation for the unknown journey ahead. They sealed their bond with each fevered kiss, each thrust of Bam’s hips, each hungry cry escaping both their mouths. Ville clung hard to Bam, digging his short, blunt nails into the boy’s back and shoulders. Bam thrust hard, fast and deep, panting and groaning. The bed creaked and thumped against the wall with a satisfying amount of noise — even more so when Bam pulled out and urged Ville onto his stomach to hitch up his hips and take him from behind, dragging his tongue along the sweaty length of his spine, reaching underneath his heaving body to begin jerking Ville off in time with his thrusts.  
  
Ville came first, bucking wildly under Bam, yelling out Bam’s name and a string of Finnish-sounding words that Bam didn’t understand, but didn’t have time to think about as his orgasm slammed into him, causing him to almost scream with the intensity of the sensations.  
  
They collapsed, panting hard for breath, and Bam rolled carefully to the side, still buried deep inside, rolling Ville with him to gently spoon.  
  
“You…all right?” he gasped.  
  
Ville nodded. “Yeah. I’m…whoah…”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
They lay in silence for a while until they gradually got their breath back. Bam carefully held the base of the condom and pulled out, tying off the condom and chucking it into the wastebasket. He put his arms back around Ville and held him close.  
  
“Hey…Ville?”  
  
“Uh-huh?” Ville sounded sleepy and drained.  
  
“You saved my life, too, y’know. It goes both ways.”  
  
“Huh? What do you mean?”  
  
Bam nuzzled a spot between Ville’s shoulder blades and pressed his face into it. It felt safe there. “I mean…I was already kind of killing myself before I met you.”  
  
“Bam…?” Ville whispered, sounding a little scared.  
  
“I…I’ve talked a lot of shit about my dad to you,” Bam said quietly, his breath creating a warm, moist spot on Ville’s back. “But the truth is — he meant everything to me. I looked up to Phil, even though I’d never let him know it. I teased him a lot and played tricks. I mean, that’s what I do when I dig someone. I know it’s kind of immature, or whatever, but it’s my way. I mean, why waste the energy otherwise? People should worry if I totally ignore them, because that’s what I do to people who don’t matter.”  
  
“You don’t really play that many tricks on me.”  
  
“You’ve always been different, though. You…I dunno…I was afraid you’d take it the wrong way and you’d leave and not come back.”  
  
Ville squeezed Bam’s hand gently. “No way.”  
  
Bam smiled. “Anyway…Phil. When I came out to my family, I’ll never, ever forget the look on Phil’s face. Ville…he looked at me like I was a piece of garbage. It just hit me like a fucking brick in the face. And right then and there, I thought, ‘Well, if Phil thinks I’m garbage…then I must be garbage.’ Simple as that. His opinion meant that much to me.”  
  
“Oh, Bam…”  
  
“So, it was like I was already dead,” Bam interrupted. “My life wasn’t worth shit to me. I didn’t want to be the way I was, but I couldn’t change it. So I didn’t care about anything. Why not get high every day? Why not have unprotected sex and suck dick for money? None of it mattered. I felt like a piece of shit and I wanted to die. I was just too chicken to pick up a knife or jump off a building. I figured I deserved to die the slow way.”  
  
Ville’s body tensed up in indignation and Bam kissed his back gently to soothe him.  
  
“But then I met you, Ville. And you liked me for who I was…in spite of who I was and what I did. And you needed me. No one had ever needed me before. And after awhile I needed you, too. And one day I realized that I didn’t feel like a piece of shit. That maybe I wasn’t garbage, because this really beautiful, really awesome guy cared about what happened to me. This guy who came looking for me every day and every night. Who let me touch him and do whatever I wanted to him, because he wanted the same things I wanted.”  
  
“Sounds like one helluva guy,” Ville chuckled.  
  
“Uh-huh. And now he’s taking me home.”  
  
Ville paused for a long moment. “And…he’s got one condition for you.”  
  
“Man, you’re all about the conditions today. What’s this one?”  
  
“It’s not really mine. It’s my mother’s. She said you can come back with me and live with me — but only if you promise to call your mom.”  
  
Bam recoiled. “I can’t.”  
  
Ville turned around in Bam’s arms and looked him in the eye. “Why not?”  
  
“Because…I…”  
  
“My mom said that she’d been in a living hell ever since the day I left home,” Ville whispered. “Every day, wondering if I was dead or alive. Wondering if she’d ever see me again. Jumping every time the phone rang and wanting to cry every time it wasn’t me calling. She… said that she won’t play a part in causing another mother that kind of suffering. She says you have to phone April at least once when you get home. You don’t have to tell her where you are, but you have to let her know you’re doing okay.”  
  
Bam looked into Ville’s eyes, which were a little watery and guilt-ridden. “Hey,” he whispered, pulling Ville close. “It’s okay…you didn’t know. You didn’t hurt her on purpose. You thought you were sparing her more pain by leaving.”  
  
“Pretty stupid,” Ville mumbled into Bam’s shoulder. “Please, will you call April when we get to Helsinki?”  
  
Bam swallowed hard. “All right. But if Phil answers the goddamn phone, I’m hanging up, okay? I won’t talk to him.”  
  
“Okay,” murmured Ville.  
  
Bam was quiet for a long time, playing idly with a loose curl of Ville’s hair. “Are you scared, Ville?”  
  
Pause. “A little. Are you?”  
  
“Yeah. I mean…I figure it’s got to be better than this. But what about Jesse? And what if your folks don’t like me?  
  
“They’ll like you. They’re pretty laidback, and they’re pretty grateful that you helped to protect me all this time. Dad said we can work in the shop and we can save up to get our own place. He’s also going to try to get you a work permit, so you can stay longer. As for Jesse…” Ville paused. “Jesse’s still kind of freaked out, but apparently he was upset when I ran away. He thought I’d stick around and fight him on the subject — not disappear.”  
  
“And…what happens when the work permit runs out?”  
  
Ville chuckled sleepily. “I guess you’ll have to take me on holiday to the United States, yes?”  
  
Bam laughed softly.  
  
Ville yawned. “You must be made out of steel or something, but you made me come so hard, I think I need to pass out for awhile. Our flight leaves at 4 pm. Don’t let me oversleep.”  
  
“Sir, yes sir!” Bam barked playfully.  
  
Ville snuggled up against Bam. “Love you,” he murmured.  
  
Bam held Ville protectively. “Love you, too. I won’t let you down, Ville…”  
  


* * *

  
A few hours later, Ville and Bam stood in the hallway after closing the door of the room they’d called home for the last time.   
  
Ville looked at two grubby bags that held their meager belongings. “Not much to show for how long we’ve been here.”  
  
Bam shrugged and brushed a kiss over Ville’s cheek. “I think we both did okay.”  
  
Ville chuckled. “Don’t you dare get all sentimental on me.”  
  
A door down the hall happened and Frank stepped out. “Moving on, I see? Or too fuckin’ skint to make the rent? Not enough cock to suck on?” He smirked. “How about one for the road, then?”  
  
Ville raised an eyebrow and Bam slipped a protective arm around his waist. “In your dreams, Frank. We’re retiring, and you’ll never get to feel his hot, wet little mouth ever again.” Bam pull his faced into a mock-tragic expression. “How sad for you. Boo-hoo for Frank. But, as for me…” Bam smirked and turned to Ville, pressing him up against the wall of the corridor and kissing him deeply and dramatically, and then pulling away leaving Ville panting slightly, his lips wet and slightly swollen. “I get to have it whenever I want. No sharing anymore.”  
  
Frank dragged on his cigarette, trying to look unaffected. “How special for you — judging by the racket you two were making this morning.”  
  
Bam grinned. “Did you like it? It was all for you, Frank! You’ve been such a swell neighbor, I figured it’s the least you deserve. In fact — we have one more present for you.”  
  
Frank snorted. “Oh, really now? And what is that?”  
  
Bam shrugged. “Well, since we’re now officially retired from the hustler scene, Ville can’t suck your dick anymore. However, you’re perfectly welcome to watch him suck mine. On the house, Frank. Nothing’s too good for you.”  
  
Frank barked out a bitter laugh that quickly faded away as Ville dropped to his knees and opened Bam’s zipper.  
  
“What the hell d’ye think you’re doin’?”  
  
Ville freed Bam’s erection from his boxers and delicately licked the tip before smirking over at Frank and taking Bam’s dick into his mouth with a satisfied moan.  
  
Bam groaned and threaded his fingers through Ville’s hair as Ville began to bob his head up and down swiftly and expertly, letting Bam’s cock slide almost fully out and then back in deep for full visual effect.  
  
“He’s fucking fantastic, isn’t he, Frank?” Bam panted. “Just look at him go…it’s like art. Wait until you watch him swallow everything I’m going to give him… Ohh,” he said with sarcastic sadness, “Ville didn’t swallow with you, did he? How terrible for you.”  
  
Frank’s face was hard and angry. “You two make me sick.” He flipped his middle finger up at Bam and slammed his door shut.   
  
Ville let Bam’s cock slowly slip from his mouth. “Doesn’t he mean sick with jealousy?”  
  
Bam smirked down at him. “No doubt. But don’t you dare fucking stop….I promise I’ll do you in the airplane bathroom.”  
  
Ville chuckled. “I had a feeling this wasn’t just for show, you horny fucker.” He backed Bam up against the wall to finish the job. In a few hours they would be facing many uncertainties and questions that might draw them together or tear them apart — but for now they knew they were together.  
  
And for once there was hope for a new and better life. One where they belonged to one another only. Bam closed his eyes and stroked Ville’s silky hair, losing himself in a haze of pleasure as Ville licked and sucked him closer and closer to climax. Who knew…maybe April would be happy to hear from him. All he knew was that he was finally happy with who he was. Ville had changed everything.  
  
He managed to whisper “I love you” just before he came. Just before Ville would stand up and lead him off into the unknown.


End file.
